I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
