dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
