I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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