Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
