I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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