id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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