I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
