u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize