jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
