so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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