I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
