I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
