Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
