This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
