i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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