dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
