Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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