Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
