he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
