So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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