did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.