I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
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I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
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So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.