Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body