New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
