Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
