I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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