Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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