The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
