Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
