Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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