Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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