He passed out mid-signature
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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