You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Pooping to opera.
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