omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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