Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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