Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Acid is not a monday night drug
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
