mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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