she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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