in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
