I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
