Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
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and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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