just tell him i said nine months
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
