It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
