He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
