I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
