im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
