so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
