Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
