Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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