you have to choose: penises or morals?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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