if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
