used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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