Welp...herpes.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
