I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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