Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize