What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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