Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
