I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
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Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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