These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
