I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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