I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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