she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
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I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
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He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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